I was feeling creative today. Thanks for the inspiration, Jimmy.

“This Dirty Country” By Jason Deitering
Inspired by “This Hotel Room”, written by Jimmy Buffett

This dirty country’s got a lot of stuff
Stone-age zealots all draped in cloth
Nice smart people who want to be free
and clerics who say, you will die for me

Die for me, die for me, because Allah says so you will die for me

We've got Air Conditioning for when we're hot
A barren desert for when we're not
We sleep in cramped trailers side by side
When alarm bells sound we try to hide

Try to hide, try to hide, Akmed is launching mortars and we try to hide

We've got KBR mess halls serving "food" they say
We've got rows of porta-potties, three squats per day
We all thank God Sheryl Crow isn’t here
or we'd only have three squares to wipe our rear

Wipe our rear, wipe our rear, she's only give us three squares to wipe our rear

This dirty country gives me too much guff
Scorpions and rats and insurgents and stuff
I skyped my baby, said don't you understand
You can't trust congress not to wave the white flag

Wave the white flag, wave the white flag, we'll be dying at home if they wave the white flag

Here we are in Baghdad living high on the hog
Or so I hear from my buddies on the FOB
They don't have running water or a hot plate of chow
How they do it so long, I can't say how
I know Paris Hilton wouldn't do it for a minute
Maybe she'll wise up while she's in prison.

She's in prison, she's in prison, she'll get girl-on- girl action while she's in prison.

In this dirty country they won't let me drink a beer
So they can go ahead and kiss my rear
My relief is here and my bags are packed
I want to leave this place before Iran attacks
I told my family on the telephone
I'm just one Rhino ride from going home

Going home, going home, my baby's waiting on me and I'm going home