Dried Squid

I was feeling creative today. Thanks for the inspiration, Jimmy.

2007-05-26T04:28:00.000-07:00

“This Dirty Country” By Jason Deitering
Inspired by “This Hotel Room”, written by Jimmy Buffett

This dirty country’s got a lot of stuff
Stone-age zealots all draped in cloth
Nice smart people who want to be free
and clerics who say, you will die for me

Die for me, die for me, because Allah says so you will die for me

We've got Air Conditioning for when we're hot
A barren desert for when we're not
We sleep in cramped trailers side by side
When alarm bells sound we try to hide

Try to hide, try to hide, Akmed is launching mortars and we try to hide

We've got KBR mess halls serving "food" they say
We've got rows of porta-potties, three squats per day
We all thank God Sheryl Crow isn’t here
or we'd only have three squares to wipe our rear

Wipe our rear, wipe our rear, she's only give us three squares to wipe our rear

This dirty country gives me too much guff
Scorpions and rats and insurgents and stuff
I skyped my baby, said don't you understand
You can't trust congress not to wave the white flag

Wave the white flag, wave the white flag, we'll be dying at home if they wave the white flag

Here we are in Baghdad living high on the hog
Or so I hear from my buddies on the FOB
They don't have running water or a hot plate of chow
How they do it so long, I can't say how
I know Paris Hilton wouldn't do it for a minute
Maybe she'll wise up while she's in prison.

She's in prison, she's in prison, she'll get girl-on- girl action while she's in prison.

In this dirty country they won't let me drink a beer
So they can go ahead and kiss my rear
My relief is here and my bags are packed
I want to leave this place before Iran attacks
I told my family on the telephone
I'm just one Rhino ride from going home

Going home, going home, my baby's waiting on me and I'm going home

Fun with Algore.

2007-05-26T02:25:00.000-07:00

Here's a fun one.
Emperor Offset was posing with a copy of his latest farce and unfortunately the darned cover got washed out by the flash. Hilarity ensued.
My favorite is the Manbearpig. It's real you know...
I am totally cereal!

http://www.zombietime.com/gore_in_marin/al_gores_secret_message/

"Short timer" doesn't even begin to describe me.

2007-05-23T07:12:00.000-07:00

I was sitting in my very last departmental review meeting today, and a word suddenly popped into my head. I have never heard it used before, so I checked my dictionary and guess what, it doesn't exist in the English language. Until now. I would love some help coming up with a good, complete, definition. All ideas are welcome.
The word is: BUREAUCROTARD
For your clarification(as well as my own mental health), I will use it in a sentence.
"Major Parsons has been talking for about his stupid project nonstop for over twenty minutes straight. That man sure is a bureaucrotard!"
Once more for good measure:
"Major Prescod couldn't possibly brown nose any harder, and that insipid, bureaucrotard Lieutenant Colonel just can't get enough of it!"
By this time it should be fairly obvious that I hate departmental review meetings. These bastards can go for over two hours at a shot. Today, thank God, was my last one!
As I sat there, flipping slides on the power point and listening to these idiots, I realized how much I missed my friends. So when I was done, I went back to my office and started sending out a whole bunch of emails to old friends. I really do miss my friends...all of them. Every damn one of them. Especially my friends "Scotch", and "Xbox". But trust me, we'll be getting reacquainted again real soon.

Who should I make the check out to?

2007-05-21T00:33:00.000-07:00

I can't afford it, but boy would I like to play with it for a little while!

This is a new vehicle built by some Canadian company. They brought it in country in an effort to sell it. Probably to the U.S. Marshals, Blackwater, or some three letter agency. I don't know if anyone will bite, but it sure is cool lookin'. It's basically just a specially designed armored shell, placed on a Ford 550 frame, and equipped with about every off the shelf Ford component you can think of. Everything from the side mirrors, engine and running gear, and interior are right off the Ford assembly line. The dashboard looks like the one they use in their full size vans. It's an interesting way to keep cost down, but it's hard to say if anyone will be buying it. If I had to guess, I would say that metropolitan SWAT teams might like it, if anyone. Let me tell you, it's awfully impressive to see in person.

Oh yeah...

2007-05-21T00:29:00.000-07:00

In the shade, baby.
And summer doesn't even start for another month.

Gates of Vienna: No Extra Credit for Telling the Truth?

2007-05-16T01:18:00.000-07:00

Gates of Vienna: No Extra Credit for Telling the Truth?

Here's a little historical context

2007-05-16T00:23:00.000-07:00

This is an interesting graph I picked up from my buddy Jason over at Appeal for Courage.
I've actually been meaning to put it up for weeks, but kept forgetting about it. Interesting contrast, isn't it? You would never know we were doing so well if you just took the media's word for it. What interests me the most is the decline in casualties in the second half of the Vietnam war. I need to pick up a couple history books when I get back(which gets closer every day) because the graph contradicts the preconceived notion that I had about Vietnam. Looking at that graph, and knowing that we supposedly lost in Vietnam, I have a feeling that defeat was snatched from the jaws of victory, because that's what I see in those numbers, victory. The trend in the Iraq numbers is so obvious it isn't even funny. It's a campaign that relies on the patience of the American people, not the ability of the enemy on the battlefield. The only way they can win is in the media. Of course, the media is on their side to begin with, which doesn't make thing all that fun.
Jason and I were looking for a data set with WWII casualties listed by month to include in the graph as well, but haven't had any luck. Hopefully if we keep looking we can find it. It would be interesting to see how they all compare.
If anyone can recommend a good book on the history of the Vietnamese War, I would certainly pick it up.
Thanks.
Take care,
Jason

Warning: I found my soapbox.

2007-05-08T05:09:00.000-07:00

I hate to do it, but I feel the need to jump back on my soapbox once again. I’m motivated today by a few different things, most notably by H.R. 1595, also known as the Guam World War II Loyalty Recognition Act. It was introduced apparently back on March 20th, but only came to public attention in the last day or so. I will return to this gem a little later.
A few days ago I came across a Washington Post article written by Jonathan Weisman and Lyndsey Layton, titled “Democrats’ Momentum Is Stalling”. This article didn’t strike me as being to terribly biased to the left, but it was a fairly interesting account of the progress made thus far by the Democrats of the 110th Congress. It basically describes the current status of the bills that were pushed through the House during Nancy Pelosi’s (D-CA) “First 100 Hours” publicity spectacle. Among the big ticket items were things like raising the minimum wage, enacting all the recommendations of the 911 commission, student loan interest rate cuts, Medicare drug price negotiation capability for the Federal Government, and ending some tax breaks for oil and gas companies (even those owned by Ted Kennedy). Even though the Dems succeeded in pushing all this legislation through within the 100 hour deadline, not one of them has been signed into law. The authors site an ABC News-Washington Post poll that found that 73 percent of Americans characterize congress as having done “not too much” or “nothing at all”. They also site a memo from Democracy Corps, a democratic polling firm, which suggested that the favorable rating of Congress and the Democrats had dropped three points because of the stalemate over the war spending bill between Congress and The White House. (They didn’t say specifically what the Congressional favorable rating was, of course. I suspect they’re afraid to be specific on this point given that the approval rating of Congress is below that of the President, and has been for a long time.)
Here is my biggest beef. I find it interesting that the Democrat controlled congress conducted this 100 hour thing, pushing through a whole laundry list of items that were supposedly important to the people that elected them, and then failed to add them to the war funding bill. What did the war funding bill have instead? Pork…and lots of it. I have heard plenty of conservatives comment that the only way the Dems could pull this bill together at all was through bribery, but I’m wondering why they didn’t throw in all that 100 hours stuff instead? Certainly the policies they were supposedly elected to enact would have served them better than the pork they stuck in the darned thing, wouldn’t they? It certainly would have played better in the press.
The article quoted a very accurate Senator Jon Kyl from Arizona, who remarked that Democrats are just “trying to score political points on the war…Part of their party can’t conceive of anything else to talk about but the war.” I think he’s right on the money with this observation about the Democrat Party, but I would go one step further with the belief that it’s that portion of the party that is truly holding the purse strings. I would offer the Lieberman affair as an example of what happens in the Democrat Party if you don’t tote the anti-war party line.
The most telling quote of the article was given courtesy of Leon Panetta, who had served as a chief of staff under Bill Clinton. It came right at the end of the article, and for me, served as a wonderful illustration of how Conservative and Liberal thought differs.
“This leadership, these Democrats have shown they can fight, now they have to show they can govern.”
In the same breath, Mr. Panetta refers to the Democrats as “Leaders”, and then admits that they have yet to figure out how to govern. Isn’t one exclusive to the other? According to his statement, these democrats apparently aren’t leaders at all. More importantly, Conservatives at the most basic level, don’t want to be governed! Conservatives demand leadership when absolutely necessary, and the rest of the time we generally want to be left alone. A stark contrast, of course, to the necessity of the Liberals to govern in their characteristically heavy handed fashion. (Pay the taxes we tell you to, don’t offend anyone ever or you’re a racist-bigot-sexist-homophobe, your very breath is a pollutant, and the environment trumps all.) I have to ask the question, would a Democratic congress be of greater or lesser value to Liberals if it didn’t have to fight? Would a Democratic congress, that was consistently unable to govern, continue to fight? In what way would it fight to see its policies accepted, and to what end? Would it resort, to say, bribery? Not the Jack Abramoff variety, but more of the “pork” variety perhaps? And even if it worked, and their policies were adopted at the cost of billions of dollars of additional spending, would they then qualify as leaders? I have a feeling that to people like Mr. Panetta, whey would. Probably to most of the media, as well.
This discussion of needless spending for the sake of polital capital brings me right back to the House Bill, H.R. 1595. This is, in short, a war reparations bill that seeks to reimburse the people of Guam for atrocities committed at the hands of a foreign government. That’s right, a foreign government, specifically the “Imperial Japanese military forces that occupied Guam during World War II”.
Can someone please explain to me, when this kind of thing is going to stop? What should we do next, pay for the actions of the Nazi Government?
More importantly, If I decided to walk into a federal building and demand money, would I even need a reason? Appearantly, your ability to get a hand out from uncle Sam is limited only by your imagination. It seems that the big money these days goes to the special interest groups with the most creative excuses. In this case, the excuse seems to be “the neighborhood bully beat up my grandfather, so the police owe me money”.
How about this: My grandfather dies of ALS, so the American Medical Association owes me $21,000,000.
I don’t think Dr. Evil could think up stuff this dumb, and yet, there it is, H.R. 1595.
Despite my pokes and jabs, this bill is actually written up as“Recognition of the Suffering of the Residents of Guam.” Which begs the question, why did it take so darn long for the government to recognize it? (They must have put FEMA in charge.) And more importantly, why now? The answer, my friends and neighbors, can be found in two places. The first is the web page for the islands news paper, and the second is undoubtedly K-street in lovely Washington DC. You see, this beautiful little island is having a major financial meltdown due largely to decades of overspending and corruption. (Here’s a gentleman with a pretty good run down of the situation, and here is a little more background just for effect.)
Now don’t get me wrong, Guam is an incredibly beautiful place. The people are some of the friendliest you will ever find, and the islands history is as interesting and colorful as can be. The politics, however, are atrocious. I think that’s probably one of the reasons why I like the place so much, it reminds me of Louisiana.
As sorry as I feel about the suffering the people of Guam endured at the hands of the Japanese, I have to point out, that was 60 years ago! I wouldn’t begrudge them their grief, but it isn’t a chip to be cashed in at their convenience.
In my opinion, H.R. 1595 is nothing but the outcome of a lobbying effort on the part of the Government of Guam, to bail them out of financial situation that they brought on themselves. It’s also a lobbying effort that has a much better chance of paying off for them with a Democrat Congress than a Republican one. As a Conservative, I also strongly object to the use of the “Payments for Guam World War II Claims” excuse. It’s not only cheap and dishonest, but it is a degradation of the honor of the people who actually suffered. Not to mention the fact that it belong in a Japanese court, not the U.S. Congress!This bill represents some of the very worst kind of pork, pork through misplaced and undeserved guilt. If the people of Guam are enduring hard times, then as a Conservative, I would love to help. I would love to show them ways to increase revenue, while reducing tax rates and encouraging economic growth. Despite the Liberal propaganda, it is possible. I would love to show them how to shore up property rights, encourage respect for the rule of law, and thereby enjoy a higher standard of living and home ownership. I would love to show them how to spend their precious revenue wisely, and not be dependant upon the handouts from Uncle Sam. I would love to show them how to turn their beautiful island into an increasingly precious jewel, rich and prosperous, unrivaled and unequaled in the western pacific. Even if I was allowed to help, it would still be up to them to do the work necessary to break their addiction to easy handouts from Washington. For the addicted, there are no easy fixes, no simple solutions. It takes courage and vision to even begin down the path to self reliance. Another handout will be making things worse.

A fun read on a Tuesday morning.

2007-05-07T06:03:00.000-07:00

Here's an awesome little piece I found linked on Drudge. It's basically just an interview with an experienced and accomplished meteorologist. His thoughts on climate change and the global warming fiasco are worth reading. They're also worth tattooing backwards on the forehead of every enviro-fascist, that way they can take a good long read while they brush their teeth in the morning.
Once the page loads, you have to scroll down to read the story.
"The Faithful Heretic"

Enjoy.

I'm going to try something new.

2007-05-04T11:34:00.000-07:00

This is called an open thread.
It's basically an opportunity for anyone to sound off with whatever they like.
I've never done one before, and to be quite honest, I would love to hear from some of the people that stop by. I can see from the site meter that people are stopping by from a lot of different places, and I would love to hear from each and every one of you. This blog won't be around forever, so if anyone has anything they'd like to ask me, this is the time to do it.
Hopefully this little experiment won't be an embarrassing failure.

Come on people, what's on your mind?

You have to hit that little link marked "coments". It's right...there...no, there. Yeah, right there!

Ooh, that feels good!

Sick bastards illustrated

2007-05-03T23:37:00.000-07:00

If you ever wondered what kind of sick trash we're dealing with over here.
Wonder no longer.
This is why we're here.
This is why they need us.
This is why we can't just tuck our tail between out legs and leave the way Harry Reid wants us to. And don't forget, these people would LOVE to pull this crap in the U.S. if they had a chance.

The celebration of Tyranny.

2007-05-01T04:02:00.000-07:00

It’s the first of May again. The day when all the “whores of the state” assemble and celebrate the destruction of freedom and liberty, and the murder of a hundred million people. That’s right, they’re celebrating in Havana, marching in Tienanmen Square, and having one hell of a ho-down in Hanoi. I even hear the North Korean government has allowed the consumption of extra rice in observance of the May Day Holiday! And you know, there’s nothing these blood thirsty morons would like more than to undermine our government and destroy our right to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of happiness. So to all the marching red morons I would like to extend to each of you the middle finger of freedom, and say to each and every one of you:

“Fuck you, you dirty commie bastards!”

This seems like a good day to post an excerpt from an exceptional document that most people aren’t as familiar with as they should be. If you would like to buy a copy for yourself and your family, (and shame on you for not having one already) the Cato Institute is a great place to go. I encourage everyone to buy two, one for you, and one for someone you care about.

Preamble to the United States Constitution:

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Straw pole!

2007-05-01T02:53:00.000-07:00

After a long night of playing the official IZ sport (Duck and Cover) with my friends and co-workers, there's nothing I like more than to zip on over to gopbloggers.org and take part in a GOP Straw pole!
Make sure you hit the link to the main page and check out the rest of the content!

Check this out.

2007-04-27T06:18:00.000-07:00

Cool stuff!
http://www.mapsofwar.com/images/EMPIRE17.swf

Actually, after you're done with that one. Go to the main page and see some of the other maps.
Fun, and educational!

http://www.mapsofwar.com/index.html

Found it.

2007-04-26T23:06:00.000-07:00

I found the article I was looking for. It makes some interesting points, but it doesn't have the numbers I was looking for. I think I was confusing it with a different article. (which I apparently need to keep digging for.)
I do love that last quotation, though.
Enjoy,

http://www.americanthinker.com/2007/03/why_no_one_wants_to_crack_the.html

Is it June yet?

2007-04-24T23:17:00.000-07:00

Hey Freaks,
I just want to throw out a quick update.
Things have been just as boring and monotonous as ever. I have, none the less, found some tasking to keep me busy. Or rather, it found me...
I saw this article this morning, posted on the Drudge Report, and it warmed my heart.
It would seem that Walmart is opening a number of trial clinics inside it's stores. There's nothing I like to see more than an enterprise expanding to meet the desires of it's customers. Of course, the political fallout for the company will probably be significant, especially with an election on the way. At least it was when they tried to get into banking a year or so ago. Emperor Hillary will probably accuse Walmart of trying to profit off the backs of the depressed, destitute, and uninsured masses. Which would be a shame, since that's supposed to be her job. Imagine how much better the US Government would run if it was forced to compete against a company like Walmart. Actually, I take that back...it really wouldn't be a competition at all. I for one, would rather stand in line at Walmart, than at the DMV.
Oh yeah, about the banking thing. I saw an interview with the Walmart CEO about a month ago. When asked about the companies attempt to get into the banking industry, his response was so beautifully objective it almost made me weep. He just stated that something like 20% of their customers didn't hold checking and savings accounts. That was it! And it illustrates just about everything you need to know about that company. See a need, offer a product, it's that simple.
Speaking about the clinic and health care issues, I read a piece a few weeks ago that addressed the idea of Health Insurance in an interesting way. It basically argued that the idea of Health Insurance was deeply flawed by virtue of the statistical fact that everyone will contract a severe condition of one type or another. As opposed to the "old days" when you were more likely to get sick and be told you had six weeks to live. Now, of course, almost everything is treatable, meaning longer hospital stays and expensive treatments. There's a lot more to it, of course, and the author addresses the bulk of it. I'm going to try to find it and include it in my next post.
Till next time.
Take care,
-J

Here's a must read.

2007-04-20T01:28:00.000-07:00

In addition to having one of the most beautiful banners in the entire blogosphere, John and the "sista-infidel" at Infidels Are Cool published a darn good post about the history of gun ownership in Germany, pre-WWII. After the events at Virginia Tech, it's important to retain a clear focus of the lessons that history has to offer.

Please take a moment to read it.

Thank you.

-Jason

I had a wonderful dream last night...

2007-04-19T22:43:00.000-07:00

And today, Bill Clinton said that that dream, just might come true...
Hopefully, on a Green Party ticket.
http://blogs.usatoday.com/onpolitics/2007/04/bill_clinton_hi.html

UPDATE:
Yes, Algore is in fact, that stupid. Just don't tell anyone, it's a secret!
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/04/22/wgore22.xml

Meet "Betty".

2007-04-18T10:19:00.000-07:00

I think we've been having too much fun in the office lately. Either that, or being so close to the end is making us giddy. This is "Miss Betty", the wonder sock. New best friend of my buddy Chris. The Petty Officer that works with us thought it would be funny to leave on his desk.
No word yet on how Chris's wife is going to feel about her...

Lets see, photo two is the little "garden" that we have growing in front of the office. The flashy things hanging on the lines above our fine lawn are CD's, cut in half to keep the birds from eating the grass seed. And it worked! (for about 20 minutes.)
I have no idea why they're still hung up.
And in picture three, you might detect a little bit of fog hanging in the air. That is not fog. That is dust. After walking around outside, you have to wash the grit out of your mouth. Beer works best for that kind of thing, but around here you have to make due with what you've got.
That's all I've got to report on tonight.
have a good one...
-Jason

Under 50 days and counting...

2007-04-17T02:04:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys,
It's getting to be that time of year when just about everyone in our organization turns over and goes home. For some reason I can't quite explain, there is a huge turnover in the May/June time frame. This year, a lot of our relief will not be coming here, but will be doing their jobs from a slightly different location due to new leadership and reorganization, standard bureaucratic BS.(Don't even ask about those TPS reports...has anyone seen my stapler?) Because of this, a slow and depressing bleed of personnel is beginning. This picture was taken after our last volleyball game together before people start hitting the road.

We have plenty of access to the news, so of course I'm aware of what happened in Virginia yesterday. I'm very sorry that happened, I think a lot of people out here are surprised to see these kind of things. It's a good illustration of the differences between the U.S. and Iraq. In Iraq, this kind of madness happens almost daily, caused by some extremely hate full and intolerant people. When this kind of thing happens in the states, as terrible as it is, we can at least feel confident that it's an isolated incident caused by a single unstable individual.

Anyway, back to work.
Peace.

Cool pic from the IZ.

2007-04-13T05:55:00.000-07:00

I took this at about 8:45 yesterday morning. A pretty good storm was just about to hit, and with all the dust in the air, and the reduced amount of day light, this is what we got.
Make sure you click on it to get a larger view.
Pretty cool stuff.

Props to Christina.

2007-04-13T05:31:00.000-07:00

This is without a doubt, one of the strangest posts I've written up. I'm basically admitting to having watched MTV, something that I haven't admitting to since they stopped airing reruns of Monty Pythons Flying Circus in the late 80's. Kind of a guilty pleasure, I guess.
Anyway, I saw a video by a band called "OK GO" about a week ago that was very interesting. It was for a song called "Do what you want", and was really something to watch. So, I was flipping through the channels again last night and saw this new Christina Aguilera video, and...well...DAMN!!!
As well as having put together a very sexy video, this thing is very heavy on the WWII pin-up girl thing, and is very well done. Also, it's very Naval-oriented, which makes it so much more endearing. (what can I say, it's nice to be thought of on occasion...)
Marek, Bryce, Bob, and Carl, if you haven't seen this thing yet, put the TV on MTV and wait.
It's worth it.
It's the sexiest damn thing to appear on MTV in years.
The lyrics (which are also pretty titillating) are as follows:

"Candyman"

(Tarzan and Jane were swingin' on a vine)
Candy man, candy man

(Sippin' from a bottle of vodka double wine)
Sweet, sugar, candy man

Hey, uh
I met him out for dinner on a Friday night
He really got me working up an appetite
He had tattoos up and down his arm
There's nothing more dangerous than a boy with charm
He's a one stop jive, makes my panties drop
He's a sweet talkin' sugar coated candy man
A sweet talkin' sugar coated candy man

Ooh, yeah, yeah
He took me to this cotton club on Hollywood & Vine
We drank champagne and we danced all night
We shook the paparazzi for a big surprise (a big surprise)
....
He's a one stop jive, makes my cherry pop
He's a sweet talkin' sugar coated candy man (ooh yeah)
A sweet talkin sugar coated candy man

(Scatting)

Hey, yeah
Oh, yeah

He's a one stop jive, makes my cherry pop
He's a sweet talkin' sugar coated candy man (oh)
A sweet talkin sugar coated candy man

Whoa, yeah
Well, by now I?m getting all bothered and hot
[ these lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]
When he hits my mouth he really hits the spot
He got lips like sugar cane, oh
Good things come for those who wait

(Tarzan and Jane were swingin' on a vine)
Candy man, candy man
(Sippin' from a bottle of vodka double wine)
Candy man, candy man

(Sweet, sugar, candy man)
He's a one stop, gotcha hot, makin all the panties drop
(Sweet, sugar, candy man)
He's a one stop, got me hot, makin' my *uh* pop
(Sweet, sugar, candy man)
He's a one stop, get it while it's hot, baby don't stop
(Sweet, sugar)

He got those lips like sugar cane
Good things come for ones who wait
He's a one stop jive with a real big *uh*
He's a sweet talkin' sugar coated candy man
(Say what) a sweet talkin sugar coated candy man
(Say) a sweet talkin sugar coated candy man, woo
A sweet talkin sugar coated candy man

Oooh, whoa
Candy man, candy man
Candy man, candy man
Candy man, candy man...

(Tarzan and Jane were swingin' on a vine
Tarzan and Jane were swingin' on a vine
Sippin' from a bottle of vodka double wine
Sippin' from a bottle of vodka double wine
Jane lost her grip and down she fell
Jane lost her grip and down she fell
Squared herself away as she let out a yell
Squared herself away as she let out a yell)

Quote of the day?

2007-04-09T11:47:00.000-07:00

Here's a quote for today:
"I need a frickin' drink!"
-me

A vision of the future?

2007-04-05T03:57:00.000-07:00

I don't even remember where I found this one, but it's still funny.
A little scary as well.
I'm currently reading"Dereliction of Duty" about the first (joking!) Clinton presidency. Pretty interesting stuff. It's written by Robert Patterson, who was an Air Force Officer, and carried Bill Clinton's "nuclear football". Like I said, interesting stuff. I think that the successor to "Dried Squid" should have a special page to post book reviews. It might be cool to allow third parties to post reviews as well.
According to a pole I read the other day, Fred Thompson is sitting at second place in the GOP field, and he hasn't even committed to running yet. Also, kind of interesting.
Anyway, nothing has gone boom around our neck of the IZ in a while, which is pretty cool.
I have some things to keep me busy tomorrow, but if I work really hard, I might be able to get another post up by Monday.
Peace.
-J

The end of the lightbulb?

2007-04-04T01:48:00.000-07:00

“Build a better mouse trap, and the world will beat a path to your door”

This phrase used to be a call to arms for Americans to develop their creative potential, embrace the entrepreneurial spirit, and accept a great amount of personal financial risk. The reward for their risk and sacrifice, is profit, the amount of which to be determined by the value of their inventiveness in a free marketplace. I can’t remember the last time I actually heard someone use that old phrase. I wouldn’t be surprised if a significant percentage of today’s graduating High School students have never heard it.

This is an age of political correctness, when everyone is a hyphenated-American, our elected officials have the time to rename the “Global War on Terror” to something a bit softer and less politically abrasive, and our personal decisions are guided as much by liability and the fear of litigation as they are sound judgment and experience. I believe the original phrase can accurately be updated as such:

“Build an environmentally-friendly, fully recyclable, humane “mouse detainment device” at five times the price, and then hire lobbyists to influence legislators to pass laws to outlaw the use of your competition, hand you a near monopoly, and guarantee the future profitability of your corporation for years to come.”

The “Mouse Detainment Device” which I would like to specifically address comes in the shape of the compact fluorescent light bulb. In form true to the updated and politically correct version of the original phrase, both unscrupulous Legislators and equally unscrupulous Corporations are involved. In addition, we have a fanatical pseudo-religious environmental movement, hell bent on having the ultimate say so on everything we build, manufacture, and purchase. (If the acronyms NIMBY, and BANANA, aren’t familiar to you, ask a Californian.)

The person most directly responsible for this pending abuse of power is Rep. Jane Harman (D-Calif.), who has introduced legislation that would prohibit the sale of incandescent light bulbs in the United States after 2012. In her words, “This legislation, while a small step, could have an enormous impact,” (via the Huffington Post) She continued, saying, “And hopefully, it can help transform America into an energy-efficient and energy-independent nation.” What she should have said was that “The money spent by Americans on these $5(at least) light bulbs will ensure the profitability of the Phillips Corporation, secure the continued employment of lobbyists and make political campaign contributions a certainty for many years to come. In addition, you can you can feel good about yourself for having done virtually nothing beneficial for the environment, as well as for having a mercury containing device in every room of your home.”

But will it actually have an impact as she says? A fairly blasphemous statement, I know, but one that I feel is necessary considering that the future of the Earth itself rests on this very question. (The ability to analyze an issue in an objective manner is soooooo right wing.) One of my fellow bloggers observed correctly that peak hours, as they relate to energy production, occur in the daytime when air conditioning, industrial machinery, and office equipment are in highest usage.(ask anyone who ever had to endure a brown-out what time of day it was.) It isn’t until night time that light bulbs are most needed, and it is at this time that the demands placed on the power grids are at their lowest. Does it make any sense to reduce the electrical load at a time of day when there’s already a surplus of capacity? And don’t forget, we already institute daylight savings time, which means that during summer hours we have an additional measure of reduced evening usage.

While it’s difficult to forecast whether the legislation has a chance at becoming law or not, it is obvious that as long as we the taxpayers continue to allow corporate interests to profit via legislation, rather than compete in an open and free marketplace, we will continue to have our decisions made for us at the highest levels of government. These decisions will be made by people we have never met, who we will never know, and who place their own opportunities above ours. These people are more than happy to accept a small measure of political profit from their supporters in their home district, in exchange for our freedom to apply our own judgment as we see fit.

As song as we allow them to put political profit, and the oh-so subjective measure of the “common good” above our rights and freedoms, we will continue to have less and less choice in our daily lives, and a great deal more responsibility to comply with the regulations set forth for our “best interest”.

Headline: "Hillary goes berserk! Mauls a campaign staffer!"

2007-04-01T23:24:00.001-07:00

Even though her owner had stood up for her, claiming she had been a loyal and stable family pet for many years, she ultimately had to be put down.

This also popped up in the news, courtesy of Mike Glover of the Associated (with terrorists)Press:

SIOUX CITY, Iowa (AP) - If President Bush vetoes an Iraq war spending bill as
promised, Congress quickly will provide the money without the withdrawal
timeline the White House objects to because no lawmaker ``wants to play
chicken with our troops,'' Sen. Barack Obama said Sunday.

Apparently, Hillary is the only Socialist/Democrat who actually has any fangs. The nut-roots are going to freakin' loose it when they hear about this.

Maybe that's why Pelosi went to Syria, she's looking for a good place to hide.

UPDATE:

I was right. LGF has a response from the moonbats over at Kos.

New addition

2007-04-01T03:17:00.000-07:00

Hey Freaks,
I have added a new feature to the page.
I'm not sure if I like the way it works, or if it's going to display the kind of quotations that I would approve of. We'll see what happens...
Just one quote from a communist or a dirty enviro-nazi, and it's freakin' gone!
Enjoy!

2007-03-31T11:02:00.000-07:00

Hey Gang,
I am in need of some musical advice.
The playlist on my ipod is getting a little tired, and I need some fresh tunes.
I am open to any and all ideas.

This is what the playlist looks like now:
U2 "Vertigo"
Elvis Presley "A little less conversation"
Madonna "Ray of Light"
Peter Gabriel "Solsbury Hill"
George Thorogood "Who do you love"
Beck "E-Pro"
Beck "Black Tamborine"
Cake "I will survive"
Cake "Sheep go to heaven"
Dirty Vegas "Days go by"
Joe Cocker "Feelin' Alright"
Lenny Kravitz "Are you going to go my way"
Los Lobos "I got loaded"
Steppenwolf "Majic Carpet Ride"
The White Stripes "You're Pretty Good Lookin"
The White Stripes "Seven Nation Army"

The only requirement is that it has to have a nice bass line, suitable for running.
Fire away.

Pigs fly at Time magazine.

2007-03-30T22:40:00.000-07:00

On a long enough time line, even the most improbable of events, becomes a certainty.
Don't be fooled, the Iranians are trying as hard as they can to stoke the flames of an otherwise forgotten conflict, which has been relegated to a simmer for the better part of 25 years.
But make no mistake,
The tanks will start rollin',
The bombs will start fallin',
and Rosie the peachfish eatin', loud mouth pain in the ass, will be blathering on and on and on about what bad people we are and how we started it with no provocation what so ever, and those poor Iranians never did anything to anyone!
And while the Iranian chickens are coming home to roost, you will never, EVER, see this story mentioned by the main stream media again.
Take a good look now, while you still can.

Don't be a Gaza-head!

2007-03-28T09:37:00.000-07:00

Hey Freaks,

It’s been a really interesting week here in the old IZ, and it’s only half over.
I’ll have more on that a little later.
I would like to take a moment to reflect upon the happenings in the Gaza Strip. It would seem that a “levee-like” structure or two collapsed/failed and allowed the contents therein to flood the town and kill at least 5 people. (there is something vaguely familiar about this story…but I just can’t place it) Making the event even more gruesome is the unfortunate fact that the “levee-like” structures were holding back a lake of sewage.
Ick. Totally Ick!
The following is from an Associated (with terrorists) Press article:

“The collapse early Tuesday sent a wave of sewage into the village, killing two
women in their 70s, two toddlers and a teenage girl, and injuring 35 others,
hospital officials said. Abu Shamalha said nearly 100 homes had been
destroyed.”

There is definitely something familiar about this! I just can’t place it…someone help me here…this reminds me of something and I just can’t remember what!
The AP continues,

“John Ging, head of the U.N. agency responsible for Palestinian refugees in Gaza, warned of a larger spill if a new sewage plant isn't built quickly.”

So, in other words, the people in Gaza not already drowned or covered in poo have officially been warned. I am certain that the residents of Gaza are at this very moment taking decisive action to remove themselves from the affected area.

"The real threat now comes from another facility up there which is equally
overloaded, except that this time it's one and a half million cubic meters of
waste water and sewage that could spill out into the area and cause an even
bigger disaster," Ging said.

Just imagine it, one and a half MILLION cubic meters of waste water and sewage, all coming at you at once! That’s like a hurricane-force wave of POO!
Wait a minute! I think I remember now! That’s it! This is New Orleans, and that bitch Katrina, and the crappy levees…and George W Bush! Damn him all to hell! I can’t believe he would stoop to this level again! Blowing up a sewage plant and killing all those innocent people! Damn you W!!! Damn you Karl Rove!!!

The AP continues:

“Though international sanctions against the Palestinian Authority have frozen some sewage projects, those measures did not appear to have affected the facility near Umm Naser. Gaza City's mayor, Majid Abu Ramadan, blamed the collapse on local people digging dirt from an earthen embankment around the structure and selling it to building contractors for $70 a truckload.”

Oops…sorry. I guess “W” wasn’t actually to blame for this one…my bad…

OK, all joking aside, this is a great example of what happens when you cross the line between individuals and groups. An individual, assuming rationality and some understanding of causality, knows better than to undermine the foundation of his own home, happiness, and livelihood. “People”, on the other hand (and as the Mayor clearly implies) will often act in concert to achieve results that can only be characterizes as “crappy”.
I had a wonderful history teacher once, who defined maturity this way:
“Maturity is putting off momentary gratification for long range goals.”
Sort of like doing without a quick buck in order to actually build your town into something better than it currently is. The really ironic thing is that these people apparently flooded their town with poo in order to help build up someone else’s town. (Also, lets be honest, the only long range goal these people have is destroying someone elses home, specifically the jooooooosss.)

Perhaps now that people have died, the people of Gaza will understand the consequences of their actions. Maybe they will realize that putting those paltry few dollars in their pockets just wasn’t worth it. Maybe they will realize that not only was it not worth it, but it was their action, and their action alone, that was directly responsible for the destruction of their town. Maybe, just maybe, they will have matured.
Who am I kidding, they’ll still blame Bush!

In the end, the blame has to be shared with those individuals that allowed the digging to take place. I mean, morons are morons and should be dealt with as such, but to see destructive behavior taking place and ignore it should also be criminal.
(slight pause to consider the U.S. Congress and the insolvency of virtually every social program since FDR.) Surely there have to be a few relatively smart people around who saw what was happening and accepted the responsibility to stop it.
Where would we be as a society if we just sat idly by and allowed the destructive actions of others to slowly erode the foundations of our society? As luck would have it, we really won’t be waiting all that long to find out. The clock is ticking, and the structural integrity of the levees marked “Social Security”,” Medicare”, and “Medicaid” become weaker every year. We as taxpayers continue to allow greedy, rent-seeking politicians to scoop out the foundations of our fiscal solvency in exchange for the few dollars of political profit they can obtain. And when the levees break, and we are left for dead, covered in the excrement of our forefathers, where will they be?

Like the residents of New Orleans, and the residents of Gaza, we have been warned.

Please take a few moments to read what a few of my Blog-brothers have written on the subject.
Peace
-Jason

http://wizbangblog.com/
http://michellemalkin.com/index.htm
http://littlegreenfootballs.com/weblog/?entry=24936_Cesspool&only

WONDERFUL, GLORIOUS VIOLENCE!

2007-03-16T05:30:00.000-07:00

What can I say, "300" is the shit that killed Elvis.

(While it's difficult to say, exactly what it was that killed Elvis... you know, it was GOOD SHIT!)

I am, without a doubt, the most impressed with a film as I have ever been.

The only film that even comes close to this awesome spectacle is "Gladiator".

The violence, while extremely pretty, is never as tasteless or gruesome as say...a Tarantino picture, it's always done with a eye toward the central message of the overall picture.

And the message is crystal clear.

If you haven't seen this thing yet, then close the browser window, turn off your computer, take your car keys out of your pocket, and drive to the theatre RIGHT NOW! (Yes, Rob...I mean you too.)

The premier of "300" here in the International Zone (thanks to a thing called "Hajji-vision") also provides a wonderful opportunity to mention the work of a buddy of mine, that I am very honored to work with. His name is Jason Nichols, and he has come up with a way for military members to voice their opinion to the elected Socialists back home. He is running a website called "Appeal for Courage". It's basically a petition to allow us to continue the important work we are doing over here, with and for, the Iraqi people. While you have to be in the military to sign it, please take a few moments to read over the site, and spread the word as best you can about the effort. If you know any military members that may not have heard, please bring the website to their attention. If you feel like sending Jason a nice email, I'm sure he would appreciate it. If you (God forbid) feel like leaving either Jason or I an email that can't be characterized as "nice", then please leave a current address where you can be found.

Our friend Leonidas will be right over.

Peace.

-J

I'm Back! (and I'm probably going to be in trouble)

2007-03-11T10:16:00.000-07:00

Hey Freaks,

I'm back in the desert following 15 days of wonderful, and very well deserved, leave.

Mardi Gras was weak, but the company was first rate. My little sister got herself hitched to a VERY good guy with an awesome family, I got to spend some quality time with friends and family, and I learned first hand that it's better to be at home with food poisoning, than to be healthy in Iraq. (not much better, but a little...)

I have been back for the better part of the week, and the jet-lag is just about gone. The weather here is absolutely beautiful. Springtime in Baghdad is strangely pleasant. It's been relatively quiet, as well.

Also, I would like to introduce everyone to a few very special members of my family. We don't usually get to see them all together at the same time.(parole boards being the way they are and all...) Luckily we got to get them all together, and sedated mostly, for the wedding.

I introduce to you, Lynda, Dawn, Karen, and Marlys...The Peterson Sisters!

In my defense, the odds of me not posting this are just incedible!

Sorry guys.

(I'm sure that Lynda understands.)

Hope to see everyone again real soon.

Jason

Big Announcement!!!

2007-02-09T11:05:00.000-08:00

I'm the Father.

That's right. You heard it here first.

I am Anna-Nicole's babies daddy.

I'm glad I could get that off my chest.

Ok, seriously.

How long until the moonbats blame "W", and the Karl Rove "Machine" for her death.

I give it 2 days until someone suggests that "W" had her killed to distract from the war in Iraq.

Do I realy need an excuse to post this kind of stuff?

2007-01-29T02:41:00.000-08:00

The Usual Suspects.

2007-01-28T04:31:00.000-08:00

Hey Gang,
I'm back with a nice little photo my office mates and I took this last week.
Our token Army guy is on the left. He's the cheese-ball with the rifle. It's like a security blanket that he never goes anywhere without. He's kind of like Linus...
Anyway, He's leaving in a couple weeks and heading home to his young wife. And good for him. He's been the big brain in the office for a long time, and it won't be the same without him.
Seriously, we barely pass for competent now. I try not to think of how bad my department is going to get after he leaves.
Of course, my department as it stands now consists of just him and I. And he doesn't have a replacement coming.
Do the math on that one!
I suppose I can find some way to survive...
I am in a much better mood these days. As my R&R draws closer, it becomes substantially easier to put a smile on my face. Also, I get to see all my bosses get spooled up over a re-organization that the new General decided to whip up. Bosses getting spooled up is always a source of amusement.
I came to the realization the other day that I am truly an EX-smoker. I had to walk through an unusually large cloud of cigarette smoke after lunch a couple days ago, and just about threw up. I figure that's a pretty good sign.
Also, my "Baghdad Doughnut" is sitting at 65% at the moment.

HOORAY!!

Till next time,
-J

Only have a minute or two...

2007-01-13T12:01:00.000-08:00

I have been busier than usual lately, because my superiors all suck, and are going out of the their way to use me as a grief mop. You see, we've had a change of Generals, so naturally, the O-6's are loosing their freaking minds! And, also quite naturally, taking it out on me.
I've been hanging in there, after all, Mardi Gras is just a few weeks away.
I have moved into serious depression-management mode, which isn't nearly as difficult as it sounds, it just requires more afternoon naps.
Anyway, I had to force myself to get caught up on all the emails I owe to my loved ones.
(And you know who you are.)
I know I promised a cool photo in this post, but it's been more boring than usual, so I got nothing...
I can make one promise though, if Hillary happens to show up at the embassy, you won't see any pictures of it here.
Scouts honor.

Be well.
-J

1/1/07

2006-12-31T22:49:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year, you bunch of Freaks!
I hope everyone has had a BLAST!
I'm not feeling the best this morning, I'm afraid to say.
I did get into work(late) in time to see the celebration in Times Square on the TV. Looks like a lot of fun. I have to say, things have been pretty quiet around here lately. I would have expected at least a little excitement, between Christmas, New Years, and Saddams date with the noose.
It's been a pleasant disapointment.
Thanks to everyone who kept me in their thoughts over the holidays.
I appreciate it.
Again, Happy New Year.
-Jason
(I promise to have a picture of something for my next post.)

Guess who came to visit!

2006-12-22T06:40:00.000-08:00

Actually, Senator John "Drooling Idiot" Kerry was here as well. No one lined up for pictures.
People were waiting well over an hour to see Bill O'Reilly.

I couldn't resist grabbing this one.

2006-12-15T05:27:00.000-08:00

Milestones, difficult decisions, and strange ironies.

2006-12-10T04:11:00.000-08:00

Hey Guys,
As the title indicates, milestones have been reached. (I would say “achieved”, but I haven’t actually “achieved” anything.) The milestone I am referring to is my halfway point. Six whole months have gone by since I first arrived in theatre.
Hooray!
Anyway, the picture above is a screen capture of my Baghdad Doughnut as it looked several days ago. I can’t say exactly when I reached the half way point for security reasons. I have to say, it felt pretty good.
I also reached what should be the beginning of my last year in the US Navy. I say “should be” because I intend to submit my letter of resignation this month, which should make me a civilian again when my time ends at my permanent duty station next December. There is no doubt in my mind that I need to be moving in a new direction, and working to accomplish some things that have been very important to me for a very long time. Besides, any brushes with excellence that I may have had over the years have been completely accidental on my part. I can sum up my career in the military in six words.
So much sacrifice, so little happiness.
This would work to,
So much stress, so little achievement.
And I think my friend Jessica would agree…
Not that I’m trying to get down on myself, far from it. I’m just being objective about what I’ve been able to produce, and I think I can do better at some other things, and God forbid, be happy doing it.
This is not as easy a decision as it sounds. The alternative is to get paid good money to go to Grad School in Monterrey California for two years. How many people get paid to go to school? Pretty unreal isn’t it? If I was interested in being “Lieutenant Adequate” for another five years, I might be willing to do it. If I was willing to brown nose for another 13 or 14 years I could collect a nice FAT pension and spend the rest of my life growing a nice pot belly and fishing every day. Unfortunately, I learned somewhere along the line that that kind of behavior is immoral. (Damn you Morals!) Besides, I looked at the money…and it’s just not enough! I think I can do a lot better on my own, and achieve something in the process. I guess what I’m saying is that I’m willing to accept some risk in return for the prospect of a little better reward. In the process I’ll save the taxpayers some money…Wow, It’s like I’m making progress already!

If you ever wonder what goes through peoples minds when they’re on a long military deployment, feel free to revisit the preceding paragraph.

Here’s a fun little tidbit, the other day one of my bosses walked into the office and asked me to write an evaluation on one of my subordinates, who strangely enough had been acting very insubordinate. The person in question was in the room at the time, and heard the conversation. His behavior ever since then has been much improved.

There is one other issue that I feel I need to discuss. It is in regard to an article I read in “Stars and Stripes”. Apparently there is a case before a federal appeals court that is addressing whether the Second Amendments “Right to keep and bear arms” can be applied exclusively to “A well regulated militia”, and not “to the people”. At stake is the unconditional right of the people of the United States to own firearms. This issue is being taken up by the District of Columbia whose argument goes something like this…

“Those founding fathers were pretty smart guys, and when they wrote

“A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”

By golly…they were just trying to show off to all those other countries that had militias that weren’t armed. You see, they were like “Hey George, don’t mess with us! We aren’t like the French! Our citizens aren’t armed, but our militia has muskets!”

I really feel that the question "Have we been invaded by aliens?", has officially been answered.
Folks, if this goes to the Supreme Court, and it probably will, you will without any doubt, be hearing about it again from me. The font will be much bigger, the text will be in bold, and the language will probably be…unpleasant.

Thank you very much for sticking with me for the last six months.
Take care, people.
-Jason

What day is it again?

2006-11-19T11:43:00.000-08:00

Hey people,
I got the counters reinstalled on the blog.
I even added a countdown clock for Mardi Gras. Fun!!
It's starting to get cold here. The days are a bit brisk, and I have to wear sweatpants to bed at night. I even had to throw a thicker blanket on my bed.
I got to catch a couple hours of a BBC show called "Sahara", with Mickael Palin. It was pretty good. I hope someday I can afford to travel like he does. He's been doing these incredible travel shows for several years now. Anyway, it occurred to me how much I miss sitting around a camp fire.
I think I may need to make that happen when I get home for R&R. A night or two of camping would probably be a good thing.
Would anyone like to join me?

Milton Friedman, July 31, 1912 - November 16, 2006

2006-11-17T03:43:00.000-08:00

It's a sad day, but one that will be marked with deep reflection on the part of many freedom loving individuals all over the world. It is interesting to note that on the day Mr. Friedman died, The President of the United States was arriving in Vietnam to speak with South Asian leaders about free trade. It also provides enormous contrast with respect to the North Korea issue. Even Communist countries, who embrace market reform and trade with their neighbors, can achieve markets that greatly benefit their people, free countries, doubly so. Communist countries that stick to hard line Marxist theory, and shut out the rest of the world, end up like North Korea, isolated, desperate, impoverished, and a constant threat to human life.
The President said some great thinks about this great man at his 90th. Birthday celebration. Excepts to follow.

“Milton Friedman has shown us that when government attempts to substitute its own judgments for the judgments of free people, the results are usually disastrous. In contrast to the free market’s invisible hand, which improves the lives of people, the government’s invisible foot tramples on people’s hopes and destroys their dreams. He has never claimed that free markets are perfect. Yet he has demonstrated that even an imperfect market produces better results than arrogant experts and grasping bureaucrats. But Milton Friedman does not object to government controls solely because they are ineffective. His deeper objections flow from a moral framework. He has taught us that a free-market system’s main justification is its moral strength. Human freedom serves the cause of human dignity. Freedom rewards creativity and work, and you cannot reduce freedom in our economy without reducing freedom in our lives.”

“Milton has shown us how freedom can enhance our national security. He is the intellectual godfather of our all-volunteer Army. He argued that America could rely on the dedication of soldiers who serve in the armed forces of their own free will—and he was right. We have recently seen the quality and idealism and skill of the all-volunteer Army. Those who serve our country by choice are serving it with honor. Milton Friedman has also shown us how freedom can foster educational reform. For many years, he has been a tireless advocate of school choice as a way of empowering parents and improving the performance of our schools. Educational reform advances when parents have the information and the authority to push for reform. And there is no greater authority than a good alternative. Poor children in America need better options when they’re trapped in schools that will not teach and will not change. In all
of these issues and debates, Milton Friedman has argued with consistency and courage, and trademark bluntness. His ideas have influence around the world. And by his strength of conviction, he has served his country with distinction. And it has been recognized as such—after all, he received the 1976 Nobel Prize for Economics, and in 1988 he was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom. In 1938, Milton Friedman married Rose Director, an outstanding economist in her own right—and the only person known to have ever won an argument with Milton.”

Thanks to Michelle Malkin for posting a link to the transcript on her web log.
You can read it here.
Mr. Friedman was a tremendously intelligent man, and I hold him in the absolute highest regard. I highly recommend to everyone that you add one or two of his books to your reading/Christmas list this year. (Definitely worth a trip over to Amazon.com)
Also, I would like to ask that everyone take a moment to reflect upon how great life is, not just in our country, but in every country that forms this great international marketplace that we have built with so many others. Thanks, in no small part, to the work of this great man.

Disappointed in the Middle-East...

2006-11-10T05:05:00.000-08:00

It's about time I posted an update. Actually, it's probably way past due. I am in Qatar at the moment, taking a few days of R&R. I have passed the five month mark, and I'm looking at coming home for Mardi Gras in about three months. Hopefully they will go by fast. It's a good time of year to be here. It's nice and cool, and a little humid. It feels like a late summer evening back home. Our opportunities to get out in town are very limited so I may not have any pics worth posting. We are allowed three beers a day, here. I have to say it's nice to have a beer at night, I know I deserve it.
So I understand there were a whole bunch of rino's slaughtered back home this last week. That doesn't sound like a very humane thing to do, rino's being endangered and all. Who would do such a thing? Probably just as well...
I would love for someone to explain to me exactly what the Democrats won on. It seems to me they succeeded in making chicken salad from chicken shit. What are we going to get now? I know what I had been asking the Republicans for, Border Security, low taxes, reform Social Security, kill as many B.S. entitlements as possible, don't give in to terrorists thugs, shit like that...you know, things I should expect AUTOMATICALLY from the "conservative" party. What do I do now? Ask again more politely, beg, or just bend over and smile while the dems ass-rape me? Oh wait, I don't have to worry about anything, I'm in the military! That must mean I'm a frickin charity case! To dumb to do anything else. Could you please help? Can you spare some change for an Iraq veteran? I was going to get out of the military in a year and start a business, but now...why should I take the risk? Why risk my money and create a few jobs if I'm just going to get taxed into an early grave? I can just sit here safe and warm in Uncle Sam's lap, making big money to just be a middle management bureaucrat type. Another 14 years of getting paid tax dollars to do nothing spectacular, and I can retire!(also on the taxpayers dollar!)
Someone needs to cheer me up. I don't like the feeling that while I'm over here, the socialists are running rampant back there. For all I know, they're planning on selling my families home out from under them, and giving it to some corporation for "the public good".
Oh yeah, I almost forgot, three quick things.
1. The new speaker can blow me.
2. I WANT RUMSFELD BACK!!!
3. The number of expletives I had to remove from the first draft of this post is...well, lets just say that it's a good thing my mother reads this blog.

Update

2006-10-29T07:24:00.000-08:00

Hey Freaks.
Sorry it's been so long. Been bored, been busy, been sick, got healthy, then bored again. Somewhere in there I was completely overwhelmed by tasking at work.
When I'm asleep, I sometimes imagine myself in a Greek Temple, high on a mountain overlooking lush, green valleys. The sun is shining and all is right with the world.
Also, Condi Rice is wearing a slinky little number and feeding me grapes.
I sleep like a baby.
Then Nancy Pelosi showes up with a Battle Ax and just fuckes it all up.
(I think my friend Bob will appreciate the reference.)
Which brings me to my point.
I need a drink so freakin' bad, I can barely stand it. I would give my kingdom for a Fat Tire.
Does anyone know how to make a still out of common household items?
I have a plethora of empty water bottles, duck tape, parachute cord, ziplock bags, and nasty junk food.
If someone can figure out a way to build a still out of all that crap then please, I'm all ears, really. You would be my savior.
I hope everyone appreciates the irony in the photo above, I know I did.
Later.

Where the wild things are...

2006-10-02T10:05:00.001-07:00

They're ahhh...here! And not just the insurgent Islam-o-Fascists, either.
This guy was appearantly trapped on Camp Victory.(the other side of town from me)
Looks pissed, doesn't he!
I had never heard of desert wolves before I saw these pics. His coat is an interesting color, isn't it? That's probably the best desert camouflage there is.
I bet he has friends. What do you think?
Sorry It's been so long since I posted. I have three bosses at the moment and the tasking has been coming fast and loose. They have me writing up all kind of plans and policy, realy boring stuff, too. I'm almost four months in, now, and need some time off. I will get a few days to myself early next month, all I have to do is make it that long without ending up like Corporal Klinger.
A Section 8 just wouldn't be my style...
Take care, everyone.
-J

Take a good look, and keep your eyes open.

2006-09-17T07:58:00.000-07:00

Hey Gang,
Like the title says, Take a good look at this asshole, and keep an eye out. He's an Islamic Fascist(that's right, I said it!) who apparently wants to be the next Mohammed Atta. (if you pink-O Libs don't remember who he is, then look it up!) The FBI is looking for him, which I ordinarily wouldn't worry too much about, except I've been seeing him mentioned a LOT! Also, there is a 5 million dollar reward for information on this scumbag. Just think of it like playing the lottery!
Also, I read the best quote the other day! It was in a story about the fallout from the supposedly anti-islamic comments made by the Pope. The quote is from a woman named Tasnim Aslan. All I know about her is that she is a spokeswoman for the Foreign Ministry of Pakistan.
Get this:

"Anyone who describes Islam as a religion, as intolerant, encourages violence."

Wow! Such Incite! I get it! Describing those gradeschool bullies as being "mean" is why they beat up us small kids! They weren't the violent, neglected, maladjusted product of broken homes and incarcerated, drug-addicted parents, they were just trying to save us from the Great Satan. I have been so wrong all these years! Allah, Please forgive me!
I have to tell you, friends, it's shit like this that makes writing a blog so very, very enjoyable. Hell, with people like Tasnim around, these things practicality write themselves.
By the way, kudos to my sister for finally getting an email account. Before she knows it, she'll be blogging her little heart out, too!
There isn't much to report from around here. It's quiet, and the weather has been wonderful! The mornings and evenings feel like southern California. It gets a little hot during the day, but nothing like it had been for the last couple months.
I highly recommend that everyone take a few minutes, visit the FBI website, and take a quick read through the list of most wanted terrorists and other "people" wanted for information.
Here are the links:
http://www.fbi.gov/wanted/terrorists/fugitives.htm
http://www.fbi.gov/terrorinfo/terrorismsi.htm
BTW, It would be an awful shame if any of these known terrorists could lawyer up and file lawsuits against Americans in American courts, wouldn't it?
Take care, gang.
-J

2006-09-12T05:19:00.000-07:00

Combat Checklist:

Interceptor Body Armor: Check
Kevlar Helmet: Check
Ballistic eye protection: Check
M-16 properly cleaned and oiled: Check
Combat load of M-16 ammunition: Check
Pocket full of “Hooah” Bars: Check
Bottled water: Check
50 Caliber Machine gun: Locked and Loaded!
BAD ASS ATTITUDE: CHECK!!
Book about Pirates: Uhh...Check.

The Army guys sometimes like to stage their HumVees along the sidewalk outside of our office. I was walking by them on my way to lunch one day and saw this guy chillin’ out in his turret, I couldn’t resist taking his picture. I would guess that these guys don’t waste their down time. Now I can’t help asking myself, if I was a turret gunner on a HumVee, what would I bring along to read? Hmm…Martha Stewart Shooting? Better Hooches and Gardens? No, I’d probably just bring a Penthouse…

Let them eat cake.

2006-09-11T08:15:00.000-07:00

Hey gang,
I hope everyone has a safe and quiet 9/11.
We're doing pretty well around here. Today was quiet, most days are...
The guys at the dining hall made us this masterpiece. It must have taken them a hell of a long time, too. Judging from the rest of the food, that is, because dinner sucked.
I hear that ABC sacrificed their first amendment rights to the DNC and edited their little "Docu-drama". What a shame.
Someone needs to write me back and tell me what they thought of it. I'm anxious to hear some opinion on the matter.
It's late and I want to get to a movie, so I'm going to cut it short.
I hope everyone has a WONDERFUL day!
-Jason

2006-09-07T05:37:00.000-07:00

Hey Gang!
I'm back from my boredom induced coma, and boy is today a SPECIAL day!
Today I have officially reached the three month mark! That's right! 25% complete!
Now, I realize that that doesn't sound all that exciting to you guys. After all, the last three months for you guys weren't realy any different from the three months before that. And while the next three months are the begining of the holliday season, they probably aren't much different from the same period last year, or even the year before that. To me, however, the last three months were spent doing incredible and interesting things that I never want to do again. Now, I will be the first to admit that I don't have it rough at all, and that if ever a "soldier" could be a tourist, then, By God, I AM that soldier!
Seriously, there are a couple of people I feel I need to mention, seeing that this is kind of a milestone for me. The first is a very nice woman I met this last week. Her name is Brenda, and she is a civilian, working here for one of the defense contractors. She is from Houston and has three grown kids. Brenda has been here for THREE YEARS! By choice, I might ad. We also have another computer contractor, named Demi, who has been here even longer!
Kind of makes you apperciate the sacrifice of others, doesn't it?
You also have to ask yourself, how much would they have to pay me, to get me to go and do even a computer job, for that length of time? I'm thinking of a number between 150 and 200,000...per year of course.
Anyway, it's time for the three month situation report.
Let's see, I haven't had a cigarette in almost three months.
I am working out 4 or 5 times a week.
I'm saving lots of cash.
I'm tollerating the boredom without resorting to any Jack Nickolson "The Shining" type of issues.
I think I can call the last three months a success...
I hope the next three go just as well.
Thanks for hanging with me!
-Jason

What a poser...

2006-08-28T10:20:00.000-07:00

I know, I am a big dork.
I'm a big dork, but I look GOOD in that ARMY uniform!
You might think I was a real soldier and all...
Actually, I'm just a big tourist. A big, spoiled, tourist!
It used to be that people like me were "in the rear with the gear."
Now, people like me are "in the rear, making sure those emails get where they belong."
It's not as catchy as the original jingle, but I think it may catch on.
Anyway, I got to hit one of the more popular photo spots this weekend. Saddam's parade ground. If there is anyone who hasn't seen the crossed swords on TV, I would be VERY surprised. I made sure I got the second photo in there to give the correct scale.
If you look closely at the left side of the base of the arm, you can make out lots and lots of helmets. They are Iranian, taken as trophies from the war in the 80's.

The terrorists have done it again.

2006-08-25T23:19:00.000-07:00

Those bastards have really outdone themselves this time! DAMN THEM!

What month is it?

2006-08-23T08:03:00.000-07:00

Hey friends,
I'm back with an update.
Now, don't get too excited. There is very little to report. It has been nothing but boring 'round these parts...
Only two things of interest have happened since I wrote last. The first is a little "boating" competition that was held here in he IZ. (pictures and story will be my next posting.) What's the second thing that got people excited?
Strangely enough, it was clouds. We actually started seeing some clouds last week. The first time since I got in country. It's amazing isn't it, the things you take for granted. I actually did a double take when I saw them. All I could think about was the fact that those beautiful wispy little clouds contained a little moisture, and how nice it be if we could get them to open up and just rain like hell, even for five minutes or so. Of course, it didn't happen. It may, I am told, in a few months or so. Until them I will have to fall back on fond memories of precipitous events that I have experienced elsewhere. The warm rain of the southern states, the cold crisp rain of the Rockies, or even the gentile New England snow.
I'm certain that my friend Jessica would remember the trip we all took to Boston. The blizzard that hit about an hour after we got to the hotel. Marek got trashed, Lucas got trashed...hell, we all got trashed. Then the next morning we had to walk through the aftermath of a deserted city to catch the amtrak back to Maine. Good stuff. Someone needs to cut the weather report out of the local paper and send it to me, at this point, it's almost as good as pornography.
Oh yeah, apparently my brother is dating again...

Till next time,
-Jason

The wierdest thing happened today.

2006-08-16T11:12:00.000-07:00

So I go into the chow hall for some dinner, walk over to throw a salad like substance into a plastic bowl, and the next thing I know, some asshole, is trying to get my attention. I look up, and this particular asshole has a huge TV camera right in my face. WTF? Right?
I came here to eat...now piss off!!!
I didn't say that, actually, I'm far to nice a guy.
It turns out the guy is from a CBS affiliate in Ohio or someplace like that and, get this, wants to tape me filling up my tray...with food...
How ironic is that? I got a laugh out of it.
What! You want me smile while I do it! Up yours!
Actually, he was a real nice guy. I clued him in to what I found so funny after he was done filming my salad selection. He thought it was funny, too.
The only down side to this story is that he came on a night when they actually had good stuff at the chow hall. I had a plate full of shrimp creole and rice, which turned out to be pretty good. (sorry, no picture.)
I'm sorry it's taking me so long to get the prizes out from the food contest. I promise I will have them in the mail by the close of business on saturday.
As for the picture above, this was taken by a friend of mine in the bathroom of his trailer.
How's that for a sauna!

That's all I have this time, boys and girls.
Take care,
-J

By the way, Bryce is STILL full of shit!

Here's a goody to play with in the office...

2006-08-09T22:29:00.000-07:00

Hey Gang,
Lets see, it's Sunday night, it's close to 9pm and I just got home from work. It was actually a pretty interesting week. We moved to an awesome new office outside of the palace. It's a lot closer to my boss,(bummer) but we have a HUGE Persian rug in a cozy office that's actually a very comfortable place to work. Probably the nicest office I've ever worked in.
I also managed to have two or three very good workouts this week, and got a good point of contact for a unit out here that will allow me to take tests for a couple of computer certifications that I want. I think I'm going to shoot to get two certs under my belt by christmas.

I don't know where this link came from, one of my buddies sent it to me. Our office record is
26.6 seconds. I don't hold it, by the way. I actually work during the work day...

http://www.107.peugeot.co.uk/peugeot.swf

Have fun.
-Jason

Does anyone smell something burning?

2006-08-09T12:42:00.000-07:00

Oh yeah...that's me.
I can't lie, I'm feeling just a tad burned out. I know it's only been a little over two months, but I'm starting to get a little anxious. Yep, feelin a bit restless...not unlike my friend, pictured above. I saw on the news this week that she called for the Secretary of Defense to step down because she didn't like how the war was going. (Someone tell her the war is over. It is, by the way.) Strangely enough, this is the same week that old Joe Lieberman is getting spanked by his own party for his pro-war stance. Coincidence? I think not.
I bet you guys are just loving this stuff, huh? Golly, an election year and I miss it. Bummer for me. Now that I think of it, I'm starting to feel a little better. At least I don't have to be around to hear all of the mud slinging political ads on the radio and TV. If I was home I think I would just bury my head in the sand until Jan 1st. I suppose I could do that here...I've certainly got enough sand.
Oh, by the way. Because I love you guys, I want to warn you not to ever click on any links in any of the posts unless they are from me. Some scumbag has a program that automatically posts a link to God knows what on these blogs. Just don't click on it if it's not from me, and you will be fine. Also, since we're having this talk, why don't each of you set aside a little time this evening and make sure your virus definitions are all up to date. Otherwise, you could end up with an infected computer, and you would be really upset and probably make a face like Hillary. Then some asshole would put your picture on their blog and make fun of you.
But not me, I would never do that...
I need some sleep...
Take Care,
-Jason

Sunday!!!

2006-08-02T01:47:00.000-07:00

Sunday = Happiness

That’s right, every Sunday looks like this. It’s kind of like the only day with actual food. The Prime rib isn’t nearly rare enough and the lobster is tough, but screw it, it’s steak and lobster! After a week of that crap, there’s just no way in hell I’m gonna complain.
I’m sorry it took me so long to get this post out, been busy at work, and I started hitting the gym this week. So I’m tired, and sore.
I am VERY pleased with the last entries, by the way. You folks really dug deep for this one. Quite impressive. Elmer Fudd’s illegitimate love child, Peggy, even paid us a visit. Not too shabby…
Let’s see….oh yeah. Dinner was: Beef tips over dirty rice, boiled potatoes, pees with mushrooms, and Beets with onions. And I ate it.

Peg, very creative response. I still can’t translate this, though…
“Dose weawwy wooked wike anything but that.”
Really, I don’t have a clue, but it’s worth 10 pts.

The 1st. lady nailed everything but the main dish, well done there. 10pts.

Bryce, however, did very well with the main dish. (I wish he had been here to eat it for me.) I don’t know what possessed him to play off of the Muppet Show, but it did bring back some nice memories. I also know what he’s getting in his stocking this year. ( “bloody elmo feces”, of course!) 10pts.

Mom, I think, did a wonderful job mixing real guesses with the creative stuff. Very well done. I especially liked “dung of the day” 15 pts.
By the way, the shades are “danger sensitive” sunglasses. Ask Dad, he’ll explain.

Rob did something that I don’t think anyone else did through this entire contest. He mixed armadillo, maggots, dingo balls, fungus, and rabbit crap all into the same meal. He was also very close on the real guess. You get 15 pts, just never cook for me again!

Pamela went with a cannibalistic reference, and you know, when that happened, it just didn’t keep me from enjoying a biggie size Wendy’s chili with extra onions and cheese. Is there something wrong with me?? 10 pts for Pamela.

Oh, and by the way, Peg. My mother is going to get so much Iraqi shit in her stocking, she won’t know what to do with it.

As far as prizes go, there is a first place prize, and a whole bunch of second place prizes, which will all be the same. Fitting, considering there are four people tied for 2nd.
By my calculations,

Peg (THE BIG WINNER) leads the pack with 35pts!!!
(does anyone know how to mail a 12 year old Iraqi kid?)

My family + the 1st. lady all came in second with 30pts. Pamela, pulled 25pts, but she’ll always be a winner to me, so I promoted her up to second. Same goes for Pam and Eric, who got a little shy at the end.
There are a few of you who don’t work with my family, and therefore, I don’t have any way to reach you. So, Please, leave a good email address in a post, and I will pull it back off so it doesn’t get too much exposure. Don’t forget, it is VERY easy (and free) to start a new email account. It may be a good idea to start a new one so we can coordinate a mailing address, instead of using your primary address. I have a fun game ready to pass along tomorrow, which I’m sure will cause a great number of lost working hours.

Thank you for looking at my balls!!

It was a blast!

-Jason

Saturday's slop!

2006-07-30T10:13:00.000-07:00

Hey guys.
Glad I still have people stopping by to play “Guess this mess”.
Bryce came up with that one, I thought it was pretty good.
Fridays meal was the worst I have had yet. I knew nobody would get it. The big part of the tray was just stuffing with gravy. Those fritter looking things were actually “crab bites”, and let me tell you, they SUCKED! They tasted like old crab meat mixed with salt and sawdust. The bean medley thing wasn’t too bad.
OK, Point total through Friday:
Mom- 15pts.
Rob- 15pts. “Poultry hole pate?” Well done. He scored big on that one.
Bryce-20pts. God, you stink…smelly bastard.
Peg-25pts. She’s doing well, but guesses like “meat or fish” don’t help her out much.
Pam-10pts Nice comeback, Pam.
Pamela-15pts+1 Canadian point. She wasn’t doing all that great, but a few for partial credit and a dog vomit reference make all the difference!
Jessica-2pts. Where has Jessica gone? Probably got her head in the clouds somewhere…
1st. Lady- 20pts.
Bob-5pts.
Eric-10 pts Nice Dan Quayle reference…I got a chuckle out of that one. If I was any younger I probably wouldn’t have gotten it.
And by the way, they do have Kin Chee on the salad bar from time to time.
Moving onto todays pic…
This will be the very last night of the contest. My waistline can’t handle any more…
I jumped at the chance to insert a little extra “color” into this one. Have fun with it, and remember, creative responses get more points than correct guesses. I will wait until Monday is over in the states before posting the winners.
Anyway, It’s bed time for me. Take care, everyone.
Enjoy your meal.

2006-07-28T07:45:00.000-07:00

It’s almost over….
And Thank God! I can’t keep eating like this. Today was the worst day yet…
I mean, just LOOK at that crap! I think I did a damn good job today. Not only did I find it, I even ate most of it.
Someone had asked me why I always had a bottle of water, and speculated that perhaps that is all that is here.(it’s not.) Someone else asked why they hadn’t seen any nice looking desserts on my plate. (I took care of that today.) The answer is that I usually eat very healthy. Not that I’m picky, I will eat anything, and I like most things. Seriously, ask my Mother if you happen to work with her. My brother could probably back me up on that, as well. I also stay away from sodas, because if I’m going to drink my calories, they’re going to be in beer. Take another look at that plate of “food”. This has been a rough week, but a very, very fun one. Fun because I got to focus on something other than work, and got so much interaction with you guys. I have to run out soon (I know where the fun is in the old IZ on a Friday night.) but I will have a good point total up tomorrow.
I think everyone did pretty well with last nights pics. I think everyone will be getting points for being partially correct. I believe a couple of people nailed them.
Dish one: Salmon with collard greens and sweet potatoes.
Dish Two: Pork chops with “a-sapre-a-gas” (my mother is an incredible DORK) and mashed potatoes.
Believe it or not, the salmon wasn’t bad…
Take care,
-J

Bon Apetit.

2006-07-27T10:00:00.000-07:00

Ok guys, I got bumped a day behind thanks to some difficulties that I had with Blogger.com. I spent hours trying to get a picture to upload. Eventually I had to give up and hit the rack. I did get a chance to go prize shopping this afternoon at some of the local hajji-marts. I managed to procure some interesting "Iraqi stuff" that I think people might enjoy.
Since I got pushed a day behind, I put Wednesday and Thursday out at the same time.
Now, don’t anyone get all huffy about it! I don’t want to hear anyone complaining!
Actually, I’m sorry, I have to apologize…I’m just a little tired…long days…the heat…you guys understand, right?

Or, it may be because I haven’t had a crap in two days…hmmm. You see what I go through just to get a laugh!!!

Anyway…what am I forgetting…Oh Yeah!...The BALLS!
Bunch of sick freaks, you people are. What’s wrong with you, your mommies didn’t hold you enough? Raised by wolves? What’s with the potty humor, huh?
So, what have we learned?
We learned that Peg has enough class to translate (roughly) her nasty thoughts into Spanish.
We learned the she also prefers her balls "spicy". (I don't know what that means, but I think we should go dancing some time.)
We learned that myself and 1st lady are both recovering smokers. (Stay Strong, Trace!)
We learned that Bryce knows where to find the hottest Lamb-ball eating contest in northeastern Florida.

And last, but not least, we learned why I eat out so often when I come home.

To quote my dear mother:

"ground camel balls, covered in dung gravy served over a bed of camel intestines. YUMMY! And all the trimmings."

You guys should come to thanksgiving dinner some time, It’s a HOOT!

Ok, 5 pts for each person who guessed "Swedish Meat Balls"
10 pts for Bryce, Peg, and my Mother…because…well…I liked their balls.
Shy Pamela who jumped out there in such a timid manor gets awarded 1 Canadian point. You’ll love it, it’s great…it’s just like an American point, except it isn’t worth anything…
Next time, Pamela, you should grab Peg’s balls and run with them.
(just like my family did!)
You really shouldn’t be afraid with this group, I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? It’s not like everyone in the world can see you going on and on about a plate full of camel nuts. (Sorry, I couldn’t resist. Now she’s going to hate me forever.)

Have fun with today’s mystery meat, I am going to try shake things up a little bit for tomorrow. (Peg’s advice) See you all soon…
-Jason

Here comes tuesday...

2006-07-25T08:57:00.000-07:00

Hey Gang,
I just can’t tell you how pleased I am at the feedback for this silly contest.
At first I thought that Mondays dinner would be easy, then I began to feel differently.
As it turns out, there were 5 people who nailed it! I know I said that I was going to wait until the end to publish the results, but I’m thinking that a running scoreboard might be more fun, so, here we go…
Bryce, Peg, Dad, Bob, and the 1st Lady are being awarded 5 points each for correctly identifying the main dish as “Shepherd’s Pie”. With any luck it wasn’t made from real shepherds.
And Jessica gets an honorable mention of 2 points for this gem.

"Well, if it's Haliburton, I'm thinking ground lawyer.That's Cheney's company, right? Hiding his hunting indiscretions... :)"

Jessica knows me well enough to know that if ground lawyer was on the menu, I’d eat it.
Keep in mind, folks, these points don’t mean much. Kind of like on “Whose Line Is It, Anyway?” I would also like to take a moment to recognize a complete looser. My buddy Ox, bless his heart, sent me this…

"It's Chili-Mac, you silly Bald Bitch!!! that's too easy."

He was very confident, which I respect, and normally I wouldn’t rip on him.
Unfortunately, he’s here in Iraq, and he is eating the same food!
Oh Ox, you poor dumb animal. I really expect more from you than that, lets see if you can redeem yourself tonight.

Alright, about the picture for Tuesday…I think it’s WAY too easy. (my options were limited, I did my best.) Therefore, if you want BIG points then you have to be creative.
Name this nasty thing as best you can, no holds barred, nothing is out of limits!
Now, Bryce is the favorite for this round, but don’t believe for a second that he’s got it in the bag. Dig deep people, be as disgusting as you dare!

Don’t worry about me, I already ate.

Guess what’s for dinner!

2006-07-24T09:08:00.000-07:00

I was feeling a little creative today, and thought it would be fun to have a little contest.
I am going to take a picture of my dinner every evening for a week. Each "meal" will be posted individually to allow people to post or email me with their guesses. Points will be awarded based on accuracy, as well as creativity.
At the end of the week, there may even be PRIZES!! (Well…maybe…we’ll see how I feel. After all, I’m the one who has to eat this stuff.)
Now, keep in mind, this is KBR food. KBR is owned by Halliburton. I beg you not to forget this fact as you creatively analyze these pictures.
Since today is the first day, I tossed out a softball. I think it’s easy, anyway. It didn’t taste too bad, at least. Based on how the feedback goes, I will adjust my eating habits to keep it challenging. (Won’t that be fun for me!)
Each days winners will be announced at the end of the week.

Good Luck!

Pictures from Al Faw Palace.

2006-07-24T02:57:00.000-07:00

Hey Gang,
It’s July 24th, and things are just clipping right along here at the old IZ. I would like to say thank you to everyone for the nice birthday wishes, by the way. Things have been quiet around here, and hot. I’ve gotten used to the heat, but not the boredom.
The pictures are of the chandelier in the main rotunda in Al Faw Palace. The one with me standing in the middle of the room is just to provide some scale of the room and the chandelier. As you can, it’s pretty damn big.
Also, if you click on the chandelier pic, and look closely at the base, you can see the lights from the hidden room in the ceiling.
What it was used for, I have no idea.
That’s about all I have for now, boys and girls…
See you next time,
-J

update for 18 July 2005

2006-07-17T21:47:00.000-07:00

Hey all!
Time for an update.
I got an email from my buddy Bob, who asked me to clarify the living arrangements here in the International Zone. I don't know why, but I think he thought that I was living in the palace.
Now, of course, I should be living in a palace. I'm just that kind of guy.
The pics I included are of my "street", my trailer, and my half of the room I share. It's small, and not much to look at, but it's probably the best place in the country to be. That's because it's quiet, and I don't have to walk through the dirt and gravel to get to the bathroom. The food isn't that bad either. If you look at the photo of my "street" you will see what looks like grey-ish "walls" on either side. They're tarp covered sand bags, about six and a half feet tall, to protect the trailers.
I will have some more pics of the inside of a palace next time.
Take care, everyone.
-J

Just in case it doesn't make it to the nightly news.

2006-07-13T08:30:00.000-07:00

I don't have a lot of time tonight, so I'm going to share a little tidbit I caught on Google news today.
This, in my opinion, is the kind of thing that REALY makes America special. Not our flag, not our effecient and humane Internal Revenue Service, not even NASA. Here's what we do best. We take risks. In this guys case, about half a billion dollars worth of risk. The first link is to a news story, the seconed is to the home page of Bigelow Aerospace. Don't miss the part about "Americas Space Prize".(link three) And don't think it can't be done, Burt Rutan is building the space craft right now.
Cool stuff.
Have a nice night everyone.
-J

http://www.theage.com.au/news/world/blow-me-up-scotty-new-space-age/2006/07/13/1152637810771.html

http://www.bigelowaerospace.com/

http://www.bigelowaerospace.com/multiverse/space_prize.php

Another week in the can...

2006-07-07T23:44:00.000-07:00

Well it's Saturday morning, and I have just about reached the end of another week. It's difficult to tell where one ends and the next begins, since we are only supposed to get a half day off a week. Regardless, I have an excell file that was given to me by my buddy Sgt. Hicks called a "Baghdad Doughnut", that tracks the progress of my deployment. Today it says I am 8% complete. I think it may be a little off though...
I finally got to take a picture on Saddam's big chair. Something that I had been dying to do since I got here. Everyone else climbs in and smiles like an idiot. Not me. Not nearly creative enough for me.
I actually got a dirty look from some asshole Lt. Colonel when I had this shot taken. I don't know what the hell he was thinking....apparently I'm supposed to respect the big chair?!?!
That's something else we have no shortage of over here, Senior Officers. You can't swing a dead cat without hitting one. 0-4's,5's, and 6's all over the damn place, and all having delusions of promotion.
By the way, I would like to say hi to Peg. Thank you very much for the nice email. It's really nice to get feedback from the people who are actually reading my dribble. I am actually very surprised that I have so many people reading this thing. I only put it together so my family/friends could keep track of me, and I have ended up making a whole bunch of new friends. Including a few guys here who have done the same thing. (see the link to mikes' page on the top right.) Thanks again to everyone who stops by.
-Jason.

What's up ya'll?

2006-06-27T09:03:00.000-07:00

Hey all,
I'm back, and ready to give you all the "Oh my GOD, this is really boring!" brief.
I have begun to slip into the daily routine of the International Zone.
I haven't actually started my job yet, and won't for several weeks. In the meantime, I try to soak up as much info. as possible, and stay busy at my work computer with Navy elearning courses.
I got to take a tour of the IZ a few days ago, and got some pretty nice shots. The one I've posted is an illustration of the aftermath of "Shock and Awe". I was told that this is what a JDAM attack looks like. That might just be bad gouge, but it's probably not far off.
I am continually amazed by how quiet it is here. Even in the heart of Baghdad, I have to bend my ear to hear the evening call to prayer. The only weapons I hear going off are from a firing range down the road.
I did do one interesting thing today. I got dragged to a new operations center that the Iraqis are setting up with our help. Within ten minutes of being in this large and very impressive space, a couple of the guys decide to bring me up to speed on what used to happen in that room. Apparently, Saddam Hussein used to hold meeting with all of his generals in that room. If a general wasn't quite up to snuff, Old Saddam would stand up, walk around behind him and "give him the bad news". At which point the general in question would probably be escorted out and shot.
Talk about a bad day at the office.
I am going to look into posting all of these photos I'm taking on another site. I will post the appropriate link in the links section if I do.
Take Care,
Jason

Oh Man...who did I piss off to end up here?

2006-06-20T09:16:00.000-07:00

And, why didn't I piss him off sooner?
Looks like a pretty nice place to be, doesn't it?
On the lighter side, there isn't a drop of scotch anywhere, and last night my roommate woke to find a mouse walking on him. He freaked out, and then he threw it against a wall.
All we could find were droppings.
One more day down,
Time to hit the rack.
-J

First day in Baghdad.

2006-06-19T10:26:00.000-07:00

Hey gang,
I have finally made it to my destination.
I am in the International Zone in lovely downtown Baghdad.
And let me tell you, there 'aint nothin' like swimming in the Tyrants pool, working in the Tyrants palace (the new American Embassy), and crapping on the Tyrants throne!
It's glorious. The palace has marble EVERYWHERE!
That asshole spoiled himself in ways that I just can't describe.
And he's got these damn things all over the place. I saw at least three on my way in from the airport, including one that he couldn't get finished before the war started. It's called, get this, "Victory over America Palace".
I kid you not.
How's that for irony.
I also saw the whole crossed swords road that you always see on TV, too.
That's when the reality of your surroundings really hit's you, when you see stuff for real that you've only seen on TV.
To quote myself,"Holy shit! I'm really in freakin Baghdad!"
Anyway, I need to get to bed.
I will try to get some pictures up tomorrow.
Take care,
Jason

The Arabian Desert (simulated)

2006-06-13T12:17:00.000-07:00

The procedures below will allow you to simulate the wonderful conditions of the Arabian Desert right in your own home, without having to deal with any messy travel agencies, airlines, or unfriendly governments.

What you will need:
one pair of hiking boots
one pair of thick winter socks
one sweat suit
One roll of duct tape
four hair dryers
3 extension cords
one pair of hand cuffs
one fire extinguisher
one stocking cap
water based lubricant

Step One:
Preheat oven to 450 degrees. (be sure that all windows and doors in your house are secured, and the air conditioning is turned off)
Step Two:
Put on socks, sweat suit, stocking cap, and hiking boots.
Step Three:
Using the duct tape, tape together the exhaust ends of two of your hairdryers. Make sure you have enough tape to keep them securly together.
Repeat with the other pair of hair dryers.
Step Four:
AS QUICKLY AS YOU CAN, run around your house, and plug the extension cords into various places (make sure you have them on different circuits, if in doubt on this point, run down to the local electrition and consult him, then run back.) Have them run into the kitchen, and terminate near the oven.
Step Five:
BREAK TIME! Open the oven door and allow the dry Arabian warmth to wash over you.
Isn't this FUN!
Close the oven door, and RUN and retrieve the hair dryers. Hurry, Hurry, Hurry.
Step Six:
Plug the hair dryers into the extension cords that should be resting on the kitchen floor.
Stand back up, VERY QUICKLY! You should feel slightly dizzy, and sweat stains should the showing on your clothes and stocking cap.
Step Seven: Turn on the hair dryers to their maximum setting.
Step Eight: Open the Oven.
Step Nine:
As the heat from the oven envelops you, grab the hair dryers, and direct the flow of hot air
DIRECTLY UP YOUR NOSE!

You have now correctly simulated the effect of living in the Arabian Desert. If you have experienced any nose bleeds, nausia, dizziness, or believe you smell your nose hair catching fire, then you have achieved maximum effectiveness in this simulation.
note: The handcuffs and lubricant don't serve any purpose in this simulation, but they're terrific fun to play with and I believe they should never be left out.

Our families latest Graduate

2006-06-04T15:13:00.000-07:00

Here she is. Our very own, personal, Dental Hygenist. I can arrange autographs, but phone numbers any no longer available. Sorry...

I am back in South Carolina for only a very short time before boarding the plane to the sandbox. It will probably be a week or so before I can post again. Next time I should have a great deal more to say. We have a long flight, and then a full training schedule when we get there. I had a whole lot of fun in N.O. while I was there. I would like to say "thank you" to all of my friends, both new and old, who showed me a good time over the last two weeks.

Also, a hearty "Congratulations!" to Gina the graduate. Can you believe she had a job waiting for her before she even finished school! And the money this girl is going to make! She makes me feel very poor...But, she deserves it. Not just because she likes cleaning teeth, because she works hard too...

Thanks again for the good time guys, see everyone in a year. Rest assured, I will miss every one of you.

-Jason

Fear and Irrelevance in South Carolina

2006-05-21T08:20:00.000-07:00

Hey Gang,
This will be my last entry from beautiful South Carolina. It is Friday afternoon, and I have finished the Army course here at wonderful Camp Snoopy. I am currently writing this while sitting in the airport waiting for a flight to take me back to hang with my family for two weeks, which is good, because it gives me time to reflect. While I reflect upon the past two weeks, I can't help feeling a certain amount of bitterness. Bitterness toward the Navy, for canceling a set of orders which I believe would have taken me to a great job, where I would have been relevant, useful, and God forbid, even made a difference. As it turns out, There is a bright side to this story. I am still going to Iraq. Also, I get to go home for two weeks, to see my family and go to my sisters graduation(pictures to follow). Get forced out of a great job, and still get to take leave. Not to shabby.
It's not going to stop me from getting on my soapbox, though.
I would like to address people who serve in the military, even though this applies to everyone...
It isn't enough to have a job, and it isn't enough to volunteer. There is a lot of bureaucracy in the world, and more than enough in the Navy. If you find yourself in a position where you can not only contribute, but save lives doing it, It is worth any amount of screaming and yelling to keep the position. It doesn't come around very often!
Alright, enough of that. I'm good now.
To the guys in JCCS-1, who are probably somewhere over the Atlantic right now, The month I spent training with you guys was a blast, and I'm going to miss every one of you.
Even Durkee...
Grover, It was way too easy. I couldn't help myself. I hope everyone got a good laugh out of it. I'm sure that when retribution comes, it will be swift and just.
Take care, guys.I will write again soon.

Making good friends.

2006-05-13T12:16:00.000-07:00

Of course that's me on the right, on the left is my buddy Ox, he was a fighter jet guy, that's why his head looks so big.

Greetings from Ft. Jackson, South Carolina.

2006-05-13T11:20:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys,
We are now a week into our training at Ft. Jackson, South Carolina, and let me tell you, this place is a blast! The days can be very long, and the gear has to weight over 60 pounds, but they have issued us some realy cool weapons! It doesn't get any batter than that! We still have another week of training to go, then it's off to the desert.

Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, It's off to the desert I go...

2006-04-30T17:29:00.000-07:00

Well not quite yet,
We have one week of training in the bag, and three left to go. This week should be fairly mundane. Still have a number of personal errands to attend to, as well. It should keep me busy at the very least. I will try my best to keep this page up to date over the next year, so that my friends and family can keep tabs on what's going on.
We really don't know a whole lot about our jobs or where we are deploying to, and probably won't until we get there. I am bracing for a bit of culture shock once we start training with the Army. It will definitely be interesting. I have had MRE's in the past, and liked them well enough. I don't know what it's going to be like to eat them for extended periods, but, Navy chow isn't something to be missed, so I might not even notice the difference.
Anyway, Be well.
More to follow...